Rediscovering My Feminine Essence: A Journey from Control to Harmony
For twenty years, I lived inside a marriage where I unconsciously stepped into the man’s role. I led the household, made the decisions, gave the orders, and carried the weight of responsibility that, in my heart, I longed to share. At the time, I believed I was strong, independent, and doing what was necessary. Yet, under the surface, something essential was missing.
It wasn’t until I entered a new relationship that I was gently — and firmly — invited back into alignment with my true essence. This man did not allow me to disrespect him, to order him around, or to assume control of the household. Instead, he challenged me to rediscover my feminine strength — a strength rooted not in dominance, but in softness, grace, and love.
For the first time in years, I began to wear dresses again, to allow myself to be cherished, to rest in trust rather than striving for control. What I once thought of as weakness revealed itself as the deepest form of strength.
The Biblical Foundation: Created Male and Female
The Bible tells us:
“So God created mankind in his own image,
in the image of God he created them;
male and female he created them.”
(Genesis 1:27, NIV)
This truth has never been about hierarchy. Man and woman were created in equal dignity, both bearing the Imago Dei — the image of God. Yet they were designed to reflect different dimensions of His nature:
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Man often expresses God’s initiative, provision, and protection.
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Woman often expresses His nurture, relational wisdom, and welcome.
In my first marriage, I lost touch with this divine balance. I shouldered what was not mine to carry, and in doing so, I silenced parts of my soul that were meant to flourish.
The Jungian Mirror: Anima and Animus
Carl Jung observed that each of us carries inner polarities — masculine and feminine energies — that must be recognized and integrated. For women, the animus (rationality, action, strength) often emerges strongly, especially when culture or circumstance pushes us to overfunction. For men, the anima (sensitivity, empathy, intuition) is often suppressed.
In my case, my animus dominated my relationships, and my true feminine essence was hidden. But stepping into a new relationship gave me the safety and strength to release control and allow balance.
This wasn’t about becoming passive — it was about becoming whole.
From Competition to Complementarity
The Fall distorted the relationship between the sexes, turning harmony into competition. But God’s design was always mutuality and complementarity. When I tried to live outside that design, relationships became strained. When I surrendered to my essence, peace returned.
I discovered the joy of letting my partner lead with love and strength, while I flourished in softness, intuition, and nurture. Instead of two forces colliding, we became two parts of a greater whole.
The Craving of My Soul
Looking back, I realize I had been craving this balance all along. To be loved not for how much I could do, but for who I was at my core. To rest in trust. To express love not through control, but through gentleness.
And the more I leaned into my feminine essence, the more I felt aligned with God’s original design for me as a woman. What felt foreign at first became the home my heart had been searching for.
An Invitation
My journey is not just my own — it’s a reflection of what so many of us wrestle with today. In a culture that blurs roles and celebrates control, we lose the beauty of complementarity. But the invitation remains:
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For men: to lead with love, strength, and presence.
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For women: to rest in nurture, intuition, and relational wisdom.
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For all: to embrace balance, not competition, as the foundation for wholeness.
When we recover our essence, we do not diminish ourselves. We step into the fullness of who we were created to be.
✨ This blog is inspired by my upcoming ebook “Masculine, Feminine, and Essence: An Encounter Between Christian Theology and Jungian Psychology” — a deeper dive into the beauty of God’s design, the insights of psychology, and the practical steps to live from your essence.
